彼得兔系列由英國作家海倫·比阿特麗克絲·波特創作，是世界上最受歡迎的兒童讀物之一，暢銷了 100 多年，給數億人留下了美好的童年回憶。 很難想象，像Bitrabbit這樣暖心純真的IP，竟然會和戰坦克扯上關係，卻有人進行了如此神奇的二次創作。
坦克殺手彼得兔於 1988 年首次出現在一本雜誌上，目前尚不清楚作者是誰。 這本“兒童讀物”偽裝成波特和丹麥作家斯文·哈塞爾（Sven Hassel）的合作，後者的真名是伯格·威利·雷德斯特德·佩德森（Berg Willy Redsted Pedersen），丹麥人，二戰期間曾在國防軍服役。 戰後，他出版了許多二戰書籍，可能是僅次於漢斯·克里斯蒂安·安徒生的第二暢銷丹麥作家。 事實上，波特早在1943年就去世了，而斯文·哈塞爾的**作品直到1953年才出版，時間線完全不匹配。
海倫·比阿特麗斯·波特（1866-1943）。
斯文·哈塞爾（1917-2012）。
以下是原文英文版（東北方言），故事開頭挺正常的......
once upon a time, there were four rabbits,flopsy, mopsy, cottontail and peter. they lived with their mother, old mrs.rabbit, in a warren which looked – to the unaccustomed eye – rather like the lice infested trenches of world war i.
很久以前，下垂的、長毛的、棉尾的、比德的四隻兔子和媽媽擠在兔窩裡，條件不好。
one day peter’s mother said “i am going to market to sell my mittens. you may play in the woods if you wish but, peter,you and your naughty cousin benjamin bunny are not to antagonise mr. mcgregornor blow up any panzer tanks today”, and with that, she left in a swish-swash-swish of rustling skirts.
有一天，比德的媽媽說：“我媽媽要去市場賣手套，如果你想出去玩，就去樹林裡玩吧。 但不要刺傷老麥子，也不要炸毀別人的坦克。 說完，她就匆匆忙忙地出去了。
在那之後有些不對勁......
but oh! that peter was a naughty rabbit! no sooner had his mother left than he had dressed for combat and hopped down tothe end of the lane to rendezvous with his cousin benjamin. as the two youngrabbits exchanged their fulsome greetings, they suddenly became aware of amighty a-clinking and a-clanking coming up the road! their little hearts a-flutter, they peered judiciously around the corner.
太瘦了，他不帶老實！ 母親一走在前腳，他就抓起後腳的戰鬥裝備，跳到街上去找班傑明。 兩隻小兔子剛打完招呼，就聽到路上傳來嘰嘰喳喳的聲音，動靜不小。 嚇壞了他們的小心臟，他們敢看貓幾眼。
and what do you think the two naughty young rabbits saw when they peeped out?
那麼，你認為這兩個混蛋看到了什麼？
mr. mcgregor in a mkii tiger tank with a transversable 88mm howitzer and two forward mounted 7.62mm machineguns!
老麥頭一虎一氣地走了過來！ 虎式坦克有一門88加農炮，兩挺機槍，炮塔也轉動了！
be quick and fetch the panzerfaust anti-tank gun from tom kitten!” whispered benjamin. so peter went lipperty-lipperty all the way to tom kitten’s house.
去小唐家要鐵拳，太滑了！ 班傑明低聲對彼得說，彼得跳到小唐身邊。
quick!” peter implored him. “lend me your panzerfaust, for mr. mcgregor has a tiger tank and will surely blast us allinto bloody shards of flesh, bone and sinewy pulp if we are not careful, if weare not most circumspect!”
畢德去求小唐：“趕緊把你的鐵拳借給我，老麥頭有虎類，我們得小心點。 如果他暴露了，他會把所有人都消滅掉，血、骨頭和碎肉都得到處扔。 ”
tom kitten g**e peter his anti-tank gun willingly for mr. mcgregor had scolded him once. but by the time peter had returned to his cousin, mr. mcgregor had driven up the road and opened fire on jemima puddleduck, killing her instantly.
老麥頭之前對小唐大吼大叫，所以小唐很樂意借出鐵拳。 彼得一回到表哥身邊，就看到老麥頭開車上路，向鴨子開槍，乙個人打死了鴨子。
thank goodness you were not the least tardy!” cried benjamin, as the turret of mr. mcgregor’s tank slowly turned towards the humble abode of mrs. tiggy-winkle.
哦，你回來了！ 班傑明並不冷靜。 這時，老麥頭緩緩轉動炮塔，又去了老獾破棚。
waste the **er!”
報廢這個強制乾乾！ ”
peter steadied the bazooka on his shoulder and squinted one beady little rabbit eye down the sights.
彼得把火箭筒扛在肩上，眯著眼睛看著十字準線，上面有乙隻豆子大小的小兔子。
now, rabbits eat lots of carrots and every child knows that carrots do your eyesight a power of good, so of course peter did not miss.
小朋友都知道兔子愛吃胡蘿蔔，胡蘿蔔對眼睛有好處，所以比較一下子就一拍即合。
whooomph! ka-woooommmbbbb! the ap shell from the panzerfaust slammed square into the cowling of the tiger’s twin bank mayback hl 700hp engines, sending fuel cascading everywhere!
砰！ 庸醫！ 鐵拳的彈頭猛烈地撞擊了虎式雙排氣缸Mai**700馬力發動機的散熱器蓋，汽油到處漏氣！
take that for putting my father in a pie,you four-eyed scottish bastard!” exalted peter and g**e a little rabbity hopfor joy.
誰叫你把我爸剁成餡餅的，你這個山炮四眼野雞！ 報應來了！ “比德高興得跳得很高。
but oh dear! mr. mcgregor was trapped in the hatch of his burning panzer tank and he was a-hollering and a-screaming fit to burst!
坦克是**，老麥頭卡在艙口裡，他的嚎叫和**來來去去。
kill me, please!” he requested of the rabbits. “for i am trapped and sorely afraid that i shall slowly burn to death from the legs upwards!”
他對兔子們說：“給我好好玩，我出不去，這火會燒掉我的腿，慢慢把我燒死。 ”
benjamin bunny raised his schmeisser and pumped a full magazine into the distressed mr. mcgregor’s head, thereby solving the pretty little pickle they had found themselves in!
班傑明拿起他的西公尺瑟，把一整彈匣扔進了老麥的腦袋，給了他乙個愉快的時光。
all of a sudden, another hatch opened who should fly out but mr. mcgregor’s cat! now benjamin’s father had no opinion whatsoever of cats, but benjamin was **scared of them and would h**e most surely voided himself in his attire had not the cat been one huge ball of flame and surely demising.
就在這時，又乙個艙門開啟了，老麥貓蹦了出來。 班傑明的父親不怕貓，但班傑明被嚇死了。 如果這只貓沒有被燒成乙個大火球，他就不會活下來，他將不得不害怕地尿褲子。
when mr. mcgregor’s cat rattled and laystill, the two little rabbits exchanged salutes and promised to meet again next thursday and then hurried back to their respective domiciles.
老麥頭的貓撲騰了幾下，然後就沒動了。 兩隻小兔子互相打了個禮，約好下周四再見面，然後分別匆匆回家。
oh dear! old mrs. rabbit was distraught in the extreme when she learned what her naughty son had been about.
兔媽媽知道她的兔子崽崽又作惡了，她很生氣。
how many times h**e i told you about blowing up tanks!” she chided. “you are a naughty, wicked rabbit!”
我跟你說過多少次了，不要去炸坦克，你就是不聽！ 兔媽媽把比德訓了一遍，“你這只兔崽子不僅調皮，而且心地壞！ ”
flopsy, mopsy and cottontail who had notassaulted any armoured vehicles were rewarded with fresh lettuce and carrots and radishes, but peter was sent to bed without any supper.
其他三隻不去作惡的兔崽晚上有新鮮的生菜、胡蘿蔔和蘿蔔吃，兔媽媽也不讓他上桌，就老老實實讓他睡了。
but then, who wants to eat that rabbit food***anyway?
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